No matter how many times it happens nor how, on a good day, I’m able to recite gazillions of strategies and tools that can be used to combat depression, when the funk hits it hits and it pretty much always feels impossible.
Since Saturday afternoon I’ve been feeling like this – low, numb and voiceless.
I want to just sleep, and hide away. Not see anyone or do anything. Not talk, or socialise. Not be visible to the world in any way.
I cancel calls with my very best of friends. I don’t reply to texts. Conversation with the other half grinds to a (silent) halt.
But I’m going to beat it. So I get out for a run and, yes I feel better. But then I get home and feel worse again.
I get up and go to work. Again, I feel better. But then I’m done working and I feel worse. Again.
It’s tedious. And tiring. And really such a waste of time.
I feel like someone’s dropped a blanket over my brain. You know like you do with animals when you’re trying to pacify them… My senses are all in the dark. I can’t think to process anything. And I can’t think to find my way out.
It’ll pass I know but I wish I could rely on being able to take more control of it all. Any tips? Would love to hear them.